Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Where's Your Super Human, Super Hero Suit?

When my son was 4 years old, he created an invisible lightening suit that he put on when he wanted a little super human, super hero strength (adult translation:  confidence and verve).  Like a flash, he would stop what he was doing and make the motions of putting on the suit:  draping the hood and mask over his head; putting his arms through the sleeves, and of course, taking his super human, super hero position (lightening sound effects included) as if he were ready to take on the bad guys and conquer the world.  

I would smile as he would transform himself and then I would marvel at the real life power this imaginary suit held for my little guy.  It gave him certainty, confidence and inner strength.  And it was always there, for play or purpose.  It was a game changer in the best possible way and I secretly hoped that he would always have that lightening suit in his life and at his ready. 

It's been a while since I've seen him put it on so I asked, "Where's your lightening suit these days?"  In the most natural, matter of fact manner, he told me, "It's not gone.  It's always with me."  We talked about it a little and he told me that the lightening gives him special powers.  He went on to say that the suit just turns on "like, if there's a mean kid or bully or something."  I asked if it ever turns on at hockey and he said, "sometimes, if I have to go super fast or Coach needs me to do something really hard or something." 

It took me decades to figure out what my 6 year old innately understands:  when you give positive energy a tangible form, you can see it, seize it, and make anything possible.  It's not make believe; it's real.  So, where's your super human, super hero suit?  Put it on today, or just try one on for size. You may discover a whole new road to remarkable and you may have a little kid to thank for it. RELAX.  SET.  GO.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Remembering 9/11


I look out my window as I write this and stare at the perfect blue sky in NYC . . . the same one we all remember on 9/11 and the one that can transport us back there, if even for a moment, during an otherwise regular day.  But today isn’t regular.  The memory of 9/11 is always there but it comes crashing down, each year, on the anniversary in a way that is still so raw and painful.  

I realize that we have to go on with celebrating life and that everyday activities have to happen, even on 9/11 but I also recognize the need to go there;  to allow ourselves to feel something or everything.  I am for moving on but I am not for sanitizing the enormity, anguish and sadness of that tragic day.   I watch the coverage and in an instant, emotions come rushing back as I remember details with a clarity that I can’t even apply to what I did last week.  Then the veil of numbness sets in as I go about my day.

Living in downtown NYC evokes very personal memories but none are more personal than those of the people who were at the WTC, lost loved ones that day, or involved in the massive aftermath.  My prayers are always with them but especially on this day, my heart is theirs.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Are You In a Busy Rut?

No matter how busy you are, do you ever feel like you should be doing more (or doing more productive things)?  

It’s easy to fill a day with busy and busy is easy to justify.  It usually means doing a lot of stuff that is necessary but it’s not necessarily what you need to do in order to feel productive about what your doing.  And if what you’re doing feels like you’re running in place, then the place you’re in is a Busy Rut.    

You can’t walk away from busy but you can bust it up a bit.  Don’t make busy your excuse and by all means, don’t make it your epitaph (she was too busy to live).  Believe me, busy is a slippery slope and what slips the fastest are the years gone by and the woulda, shoulda, couldas.  So put a little busy aside (you can find the time if you make it a priority) and do something that breaks the pattern.  It’s different for everyone so you decide what you need to do . . .  and use a little RSG to bust up your busy rut. Get out of your comfort zone and get off the treadmill that’s keeping you captive.  You may still be running, but you will at last, be going somewhere.  RELAX.  SET.  GO.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Give Yourself a Little RSG


The summer has been a whirlwind of activity.  I’m always in motion yet always tuned into the ease and accessibility of RELAX. SET. GO.  I use RSG a lot and experience more and more how its simplicity is what makes it so prolific, and so potent. The simple tools can take me anywhere I want (or need) to go . . .  and it can get me going in an instant.

In the last 24 hours I have used RSG to:
  • clean my apartment   
  • overcome the embarrassment of making a painfully long overdue phone call 
  • lovingly devote my entire, otherwise productive day to an unexpected family matter
  • forgive myself of guilt ridden good intentions
  • be patient in light of mounting frustration
  • energize my entrepreneurial spirit
  • get out of a rut and get things done!
We’re human so you know how it goes.  Even in the best of times, we can all use a little RSG.  If nothing else today, use RSG to give yourself a little lift (you can never feel too good, loved or lucky), something to laugh about, and some motivation to get you through the mundane and onto the magnificent.  You will like it, you will see.  RELAX.  SET.  GO.  .  .

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Turn On Your Brain . . . Part II


The last post introduced Brain Balancers and Brain Benders as 2 of 4 Brain Basics needed to chart the course for peak plasticity and pave the path to overall good health.  Here are Brain Basics 3 and 4:

Brain Boosters
Physical exercise is necessary to keep the body and brain in top form. Make sure to start the oxygen flowing even if it’s just from walking. Stretching in the morning also helps to wake everything up -- including your brain. Whatever you do, get the blood and endorphins moving! Go to the gym, go for a run, ride a bike, take the stairs, swim. Try yoga which is both meditative and physical and has the added benefit of mentally directing the brain.  Competitive sports also do this because the challenge is to be both physically and mentally alert. Exercise is important now and at every life stage. It will keep you physically fit, clear your mind, help you focus and become psychologically therapeutic. It boosts metal processing and can protect the brain from decline in old age. Most people agree that they feel better and perform better when they exercise. Your brain will say the same.

Brain Bolsters
You are what you eat. So take a minute to think about your intake. A balanced diet is a must and more and more research suggests that vitamin supplements are, too. Antioxidants (cleansers that ward off deterioration), omega-3 acids (promote brain development and function), folic acid (blood levels), selenium (mood), complex carbohydrates (function) and vitamins B (function), C and E (antioxidants) can all be found in fresh foods or taken as supplements. Berries, grapes, prunes, spinach, salmon, flaxseed, walnuts, almonds, yogurt, oat bran, garlic and tuna are just some of the many foods that provide one or more brain bolsters. Gingko Biloba (memory) is probably the most commonly known supplement and fish oil high in omega-3 (farm grown, no mercury) is said to be the brain’s best friend -- for life. Feed your body, feed your brain.  For more information, check out www.lifeextension.com.

Activity engages brain plasticity and apathy encourages brain atrophy. Complacency turns the brain “off.” New challenges keep it “on.” So, go ahead and challenge the brain with new activity and new ideas.  Make exercise a priority and exercise your right to be the best you can be. Direct your thoughts to the positive and keep physical and emotional chaos in perspective through the ability to balance.  Provide nourishment and get the opportunity to live life a little larger, a lot happier, and definitely healthier.  RELAX. SET. GO.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Turn On Your Brain . . . Part I

Brain plasticity, or brain fitness, thrives on stimulation but depends on balance.  Complacency, redundancy and everyday routine constrict brain plasticity, but so does the constant beating of over exertion caused by stress and habitually negative influences.  You may not be able to control genetics but you can orchestrate how you live.  What you put in is what you get out.  You have the input so use it!

Use it to nourish your brain.  Use it to keep life positive.  Use it to teach the brain new tricks.  Use it to teach yourself some new tricks.  Four brain basics are all you need to chart your course for peak plasticity and pave the path to overall good health.  To keep the post on the short side, I deliver them in two parts.  Part I:

Brain Balancers
The brain does listen and the squeaky wheel does get the grease, so when chaos starts to take over and things seem to be in overdrive, put an emphasis on balance.  Put the emphasis on good energy.  Think positively.  Think that anything and everything great is possible.  Take a minute to RELAX. SET. GO.  Tell your brain to slow everything down, especially when you are at the height of stress.  Take a deep breath and direct the brain to process, balance and restore.  Stay away from the negative.  Make a visual for it and push it out the door.  Destructive thoughts are just that, especially when they fuel an already stressful situation.  If you give them weight, so will the brain and plasticity will bear the burden.  Plasticity is pliable.  Mold your thoughts . . . Mold your brain. You have your fingers on the clay!

Brain Benders

Brain benders are defined as physical and intellectual dexterity exercises.  Dexterity exercises challenge our dominant sides and help break comfort zones.  It’s basically doing the opposite of what comes naturally.  If you are right handed, try using your left hand instead.  Not so easy to do . . . and that’s what makes it so good for the brain.  You have to think about it.  You have to direct the brain to do something different . . . to be flexible.  Learn to play an instrument or a new dance step and you will find the same benefit. Pretty much any physical action that challenges your brain to break a dominant pattern can be considered a brain bender.  And the more variety, the better.  

The same goes for intellectual dexterity. Crossword puzzles, educational classes, reading, logic games and quizzes all bend the brain to think differently and stay flexible.  If you tell the brain you can’t do something, it won’t even try.  So push yourself just a little and you will see results.  Switch it up when it gets too easy or routine and always keep exercising your right to bend your brain. 

Remember, the brain responds to the direction we give it.  We should be directing it all the time.  Keep it positive.  Keep it pliable.  RELAX.  SET.  GO.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Heart of Stress is the Brain

Even though people correctly relate stress to the heart, the reality is that the heart of stress is the brain. It’s true. Stress threatens the very thing that makes us think, yet we rarely think about it all. So, think about this: The entire body’s response to stress begins with the brain. So does the ability to manage it.

The brain sets off the chain reaction that sends the stress signal to every other organ in the body. Stress hormones and adrenalines released in the brain trigger shifts in emotion and memory. They also signal the heart to beat faster, the lungs to increase the respiratory rate, and the immune system to become suppressed. They send more blood to vital organs which means less blood for non-vital organs like skin, the gastrointestinal track and stomach. Pretty much everything goes into either overdrive or under-drive. Acute stress sends the body reeling and chronic stress inhibits the body’s ability to balance back from the stress response. Either way, it's not good for your health.

It may not make sense that you can use your brain to tell your brain what to do but that is exactly what RELAX. SET. GO. does. And, managing stress is a big part of it. When you RELAX., you call on the brain to balance. When you SET., you tell the brain to respond in a positive manner. When you GO., you put the response into motion. You connect 'thought' to physiology and stress response.  The response is connected to brain plasticity and brain plasticity is connected to everything.

Brain plasticity is the ability of the brain to adapt, to change and to be challenged throughout the duration of our lives. It is the brain’s willingness to fight against gradual deterioration and some say, to foster the idea of the brain’s very own regenerative fountain of youth. The old adage is true, the mind is a terrible thing to waste. Even more true today, it is a terrible thing to waste away because of the mind.

Think of the brain as a robust mound of clay that can either stay moist and pliable or become dry and shrivel up. The plasticity of the clay, or in this case the brain, is the key to maintaining maximum function. You have to work the clay to keep it flexible. The same goes for the brain and keeping it fit and nimble from now through old age is an opportunity of a lifetime. Just scratching the surface of brain plasticity opens new doors and new thoughts about staying healthy and aging gracefully. More to come. RELAX. SET. GO.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Distractions and Memory Lapses . . . More Tell Tale Signs

Disadvantaged by Distractions: Even under the best circumstances, most people experience periods where they find it difficult to stay focused or able to concentrate on a specific task. Instead, their attention is divided and disadvantaged by distractions. Distractions are everywhere and can be external, such as a television in the background, or internal, such as emotional spinning over a personal issue. Under stress, lack of focus is worse because the ability to filter out distractions is further compromised by the fact that the effects of stress are distracters themselves. Anxiety, headaches, fatigue, frustration and any kind of personal overload are likely to contribute to a kind of temporary, stress induced A.D.D. Add these to the more tangible external distractions and the ancillaries begin to overshadow the important. They will not be ignored! As a result, attention ricochets and focus is all but lost. When this happens, productivity becomes challenged and to make matters worse, it becomes more and more difficult to properly process, retain and recall information.

Absent Minded Memory Lapses: Attention and memory are closely connected and they are both huge quality of life issues. It’s frustrating to see productivity decrease and it’s downright scary when you can’t seem to remember a thing or find yourself questioning the things you do remember. This can cause even greater stress because of the doubt and confusion that absent minded memory lapses create. If you are not focusing then you are basically skimming, which is a way of going about daily routines in auto pilot. The less focus, the less likely that even simple information like names or where you put something will not be registered, easily recalled, or even retained in memory at all. It can wreak havoc when you find yourself unable to recall details of a morning meeting or a conversation that you had with someone only a day earlier. Have you ever forgotten something you just reminded yourself to do? If you have ever thought you were losing your mind because you couldn’t remember something, then stress, not diminishing brain capacity, is the likely culprit.

Attention = Retention. Whether it’s positive or negative, the squeaky wheel gets the grease because the squeaky wheel calls for attention. Pay attention to the tell tale signs but don’t wait until their squeak is a shriek! Once you recognize them, you will be able to focus on the important and filter out the irrelevant.  RELAX. SET. GO. . .

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Emotional Discord

There is nothing more easily and negatively triggered by stress than emotional discord.  This post is about the onset of extreme emotional behavior due to chronic and/or acute stress.  It’s not pretty and it is definitely not the positive energy that RSG strives to create and embrace.  So brace yourself.  These tell tale signs mean it’s time to take notice.

Tension Talk (TT):  This best describes the tone of voice that strikes a sharp, annoyed or condescending chord.  Tension Talk is generally associated with impatience, mounting anger and a shift in disposition.  Chronic stress can cause everything to tense up which means the tension has to eventually let out in one way or another.  Even the kindest people can become callous and argumentative when they reach their limit.  Unfortunately, there is a tendency to subject this poor temperament on the people who deserve it the least and who will tolerate it the most.  Not only do we hurt the ones we love but we hurt the ones we can.  

Public Display of Drama (PDD):  Also disruptive is the tendency for people to lose their cool by verbally lashing out in a crude public display of drama. Even when the emotion is justified, the conduct is not.   In this scenario, a person will create conflict or react harshly to something that under less stressful circumstances would otherwise be diverted, dealt with or not seen as a problem at all.  This unbecoming performance makes everyone uncomfortable and is generally followed by a feeling of intense embarrassment on the part of the dramatist. Stress may cause the drama but common sense knows it went too far.  Harboring guilt doesn’t do anything and apologies may do damage control but neither should not be used as a crutch for flare-ups.  Like Tension Talk, PDD is easily ignited bad behavior that is hard to excuse, even at the height of stress.

Mini Meltdowns:  Mini meltdowns are sudden outbursts of explosive and irrational behavior associated with uncontrollable fits of anger and frustration.  They come and go quickly but in their wrath and fury, can leash an assault that leaves an aftermath of emotional devastation.  Mini meltdowns are dangerous because they are as extreme in terms of pressure on the body as they are an extreme digression from otherwise normal behavior and character.  They are mentally ravaging due to the intensity of rage and can result in painful headaches and total exhaustion if not something more serious like a dangerous spike in blood pressure which can lead to arrhythmia.

Unlike PDD, most people who have mini meltdowns are too self absorbed to take notice and accept accountability.  When they do, mini meltdowns can be insensitively mocked and dismissed as periods of temporary insanity, no matter how much damage they have done.  Indeed, the outbursts don’t make sense in relation to common sense.  They tend to happen most often when someone is on the brink of a situational abyss; impending divorce, job loss, looming financial debt, and any other significant life issues where a person feels victimized and/or completely out of control. If mini meltdowns become even remotely common meltdowns, they should be addressed with a medical professional.

Mini Breakdowns:  Where meltdowns are extended outward, breakdowns are driven inward.  They are periods where the feeling of not being able to cope and the desire to disengage becomes the governing force.  Depression, overarching sadness, hopelessness, desperation, apathy and lethargy become the main emotions that preside over the fate of their captive.  And captive is exactly what it feels like. The emotional weight is so heavy that it can paralyze but most people have no choice but to trudge through the day to day until the weight starts to lift.  It’s when the breakdown represents prolonged inertia or decline of emotional and physical health, that it must be met with medical attention as soon as possible.  

If you have given into any of these emotional pitfalls, even occasionally, both the behavior and the stress need to be addressed.  The key as always, is that you can choose how to manage it all and always maintain self control.  Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up if you’ve entered a bad place.  The exit door is open, accessible and desirable as long as you RELAX.  SET.  GO.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Spiraling Effect

If I had a nickel for every time I felt guilty about not doing something, I would be a rich woman.

If I spent have as much time actually doing the things that I spend way too much time thinking about doing, I would be far more productive and have more time on my hands.

If I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to accomplish everything I think I should be doing, I would have a lot less stress in my life and feel a greater sense of accomplishment.

If I had a lot less stress in my life, I would be virtually free from captivity of stress related ailments and admittedly, the occasional spell of out of body bad behavior.
Stress starts the chain reaction but even more so, it begets a vicious cycle. . .a spiraling effect.  What should be infrequent becomes every day. What should be forbid becomes tolerated. What should be addressed becomes overlooked. We are hardly to blame but we have no one to blame but ourselves . . . a vicious cycle, indeed! Here are three tell tale signs that the cycle is spiraling into your life.

Restless Sleep: Stress can get into sleep cycles which results in the feeling of not having slept at all. Whether it is insomnia, a restless night of tossing and turning or deep dreams that zap the very energy meant to be replenished, stress will wreak havoc on your ability to get a good night sleep. In addition, teeth grinding, night sweats and snoring are all danger signs that stress is making the body work overtime with no regard to the sleep patterns, especially uninterrupted REM sleep, that are critical to maintaining good health.

Fighting Fatigue: Fatigue and stress are a bad combination. Stress causes fatigue and being tired all of the time escalates the level of stress on any given situation. The more exhausted a person is, the more sleep is needed, yet chronic stress is more likely to result in sleep deprivation. Fatigue affects productivity, the ability to think clearly and to the deftness to act quickly. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation can actually effect drivers in the same manner as being intoxicated.

Tension Headache: Tension headaches happen when the muscle and skeleton around the neck and scalp tighten. They are the most common result of stress and can last hours or days depending on the person. As part of the vicious cycle, tension headaches are often caused by and greatly exacerbated by fatigue. The more tired and stressed you are, the more likely they are to occur and to last. They are rarely debilitating but can temporarily effect fine motor skills, productivity and overall mood, which nonetheless, can feel debilitating!

All of this and more can change but it will take you to break the cycle and end the spiraling effect. As promised, the next several posts will point out more of the tell tale signs that signal the need to reclaim a consistently healthy and treasured quality of life. As for now, if you take just one stressor off your emotional plate, you will begin to see a change. So, RELAX. and think about something that you can stress less about. SET. your mind to making that commitment. And GO. enjoy a full but more manageable plate. I am not going to feel guilty about moving items from today’s To Do list onto tomorrow’s. If it’s not a hard deadline, then I’m going to allow myself the flexibility. What will you allow yourself today? RELAX. SET. GO.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Question Stress

Almost everything we do, emotional and physical, is affected by stress. To be fair, it’s true that not all stress is bad. Stress that brings about short term, manageable pressure can motivate action, stimulate creativity and set off an adrenaline rush that will make anyone feel great. However, what goes up must come down so as the adrenaline spike balances out, so will that rush of empowerment. As discussed in the last post (Chain Reaction), it’s how and when adrenal levels come down that make all the difference in how much stress a person can manage. And that can make all the difference in the wear and tear on both emotional and physical health.

Everyone has a barometer for stress and how they deal with it. Some people wear it like a badge of honor, ready to conquer and control. Others relinquish every emotion to stress and become totally consumed by it. Some people try to escape the obvious by ignoring stress completely and others see stressors as problems to be solved like items on a To Do list. Regardless of how you or anyone else deals with stress, in order to manage it, you have to recognize it and question it.

How does it affect the way you physically feel?
How does it affect your state of mind?
How does it affect your productivity?
How does it affect your behavior?
How long does it take to rebound from the affects of stress?

What is stress doing to you or more importantly, what is stress robbing from you? Quality of life? Time? Perspective? Clarity? Memory? Sleep? Energy? Optimism? Your health? All of the above . . . and likely even more? RELAX. Take some time and really think about all of this. SET. The narrative you choose will have everything to do with the way you manage stress. GO. How you deal with stress from this day on is up to you!

Over the next several posts, I will discuss common symptoms that are caused by stress including: tension headaches, fatigue, restless sleep, tension talk, public display of drama, mini meltdowns, mini breakdowns, inability to focus and memory loss.  More to come . . . less to stress.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Chain Reaction

Every body reacts to stress. And while each of us may be on a sliding scale of potential risk, every body is vulnerable nonetheless. When a stress occurs, the brain releases hormones and neurotransmitters (including adrenaline) that set off a biochemical chain reaction to stimulate and suppress different biological functions throughout the entire body. This chain reaction can send a signal to suppress activity related to short term memory such as the ability to focus and think rationally. It can also increase heart rate, blood pressure and put tremendous pressure on blood flow. Blood flow interacts with and affects every system in the body including the cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, reproductive, musculoskeletal and immune system. If some systems require more blood flow during the stress response, others temporarily slow down or shut down. Finally, when the stress calms down, so does the body. Hormones and neurotransmitters return to their normal levels and internal balance is restored. Or is it?

The body is engineered to handle the biochemical back-and-forth shift of short term stress but when stress is chronic, or erratic in intensity, it doesn’t always rebound in the same orderly manner. This is when we are most vulnerable to health risks and, over time, to irreversible organ damage. In order to maintain good health, the body needs the proper time to stabilize and, most importantly, it needs to complete the stabilization process. Chronic stress can keep the body in an abnormal state of hormonal activity. Erratic stress will send the body on a biochemical rollercoaster. Either way, the prolonged strain will result in greater wear and tear on emotional, mental and physical health. Rest assured, wear and tear will wear you down and tear you apart.

The goal is to manage stress, not to eliminate it or to succumb to it. Once you acknowledge the biochemical chain reaction caused by stress, you can use RELAX. SET. GO. to help minimize strain and restore balance. Manage . . . Minimize . . . More to come . . .

Friday, April 30, 2010

Erosion

Pick up the paper, go online or turn on the news and there is some discussion about how to alleviate stress. Over and over, people are told to work out, take a long walk, leave the office or go out with friends. I grin at the irony that, in offering these sound solutions, they miss the obvious. Yes, the point is to break the pattern and change the focus. But breaking the pattern shouldn’t have to be about making time that you don‘t have. It should be about making use of the time you do have . . . and that is what RELAX. SET. GO. is all about. For people under stress, having the time is everything and they never have it. Even when they know it will help, they feel pressured to make time at the cost of something else, something more urgent, something more important. That in itself causes stress. For people who practice RELAX. SET. GO., having the time is irrelevant because it’s always available and it never comes at a sacrifice.

Stress can be defined as anything that causes emotional, mental or physical strain. That covers a lot of ground: money, work, deadlines, family issues, fatigue, scheduling, the expected, the unexpected, and all of the juggling, juggling, juggling in between. Even good stuff like getting a promotion, getting married or having a baby can cause stress. There are so many day to day contributing factors that people tend to see stress as a part of life and not life threatening. But it is.

Health experts maintain that the majority of all diseases and disorders in the United States are stress related. Think about this: if a person is in overdrive due to stress, so is the body. Stress can contribute to a host of menacing health issues including high blood pressure, hypertension, heart arrhythmia, addiction, depression, anxiety, insomnia, exhaustion, memory loss, mood swings, muscle aches, headaches, hair loss, eating disorders, irritable bowel, constipation, ulcers, adult acne, infertility, impotence and lack of sexual desire.

Most people recognize the emotional pitfalls of stress (which is why so many people medicate for depression and anxiety) but few make the same connection to overall health. In fact, society conditions us to overlook, ignore or tolerate the connection. That’s what makes stress so insidious and the consequences so great. To me, it’s just like beach erosion. You don’t see the day to day destruction until you wake up one morning and the ocean is hitting your back porch. The damage from stress is there, even if you don’t see it right away. RELAX. SET. GO. gets you see to it, manage it and reap the benefit of a balanced life and better health. More to come . . . Less to stress.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Let the Stress(less) Series Begin!

Bill Clinton, who recently underwent his second heart surgery, realized something was seriously off when he watched himself on TV. "I saw an interview I did with 'Nightline' in Haiti which terrified me," he said, "I looked like I was 185 years old. My color was bad." In addition to a lifetime of bad eating habits, Clinton attributed his condition to poor stress management including a severe lack of sleep.

On the other end of the spectrum is Gertrude Matthews, a 101 year old piano player who I am fortunate to know personally. She is truly amazing so I was thrilled to learn that ABC World News Tonight was doing a profile on her. In the segment, which just aired last night, you will see that doctors believe her music and connection to her listeners has kept her mind and heart in perfect health all these years. Dr. Thomas Perls, who has studied thousands of people over 100 says that Gertrude and so many like her are better at managing stress, are more outgoing and always optimistic, even about aging. Sounds a lot like a RELAX. SET. GO. mindset. He calls Gertrude an “Escaper” because she doesn’t internalize things that are stressful and has totally escaped age related diseases. I can attest that Gertrude is physically fit, active, sharp as a tack and has a better memory than I do. She also has a better wardrobe than anyone I know!

There is so much incredible information about the health related risks created by stress and equally, so much new information about the link between longevity (including memory) and brain fitness (also called brain plasticity). The RSG sidebar post, remember: chill, says that more lasting memories are likely to form when a person is relaxed . . . or in other words, not stressed. I’m excited to start this series of weekly posts and to demonstrate how RELAX. SET. GO. helps to promote all of the things that promote a healthy outlook and good health.

Gertrude Matthews, ABC World News Tonight: http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/music-101-year-woman-healthy-10441060

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Signs

It feels like it’s been forever since my last post. Life has been a whirlwind dance of late and I am fighting the urge to beat myself up over my unintentional hiatus which started with my site being down for a week and ended in a protracted stint of managing a lot of time busting minutiae (like spending hours on the phone with tech services).

I had intended on starting my posting series on stress but something else has been tugging at me.

RELAX. SET. GO. opens doors because it opens you up to all things possible. It allows you to see the signs and to follow the green lights. In the past, I was so closed up that I walked blindly by open doors and was a master at ignoring signs; good, bad or indifferent. Now, I can’t help but grab hold of them and wonder what they mean, especially the signs I’ve been getting since my first RSG post in late November 2009. Incredible.

While deeply spiritual, I’ve been careful not to impart my faith based values into my RSG posts. I believe that faith is personal and respect all religions. So, I find it ironic that many of the comments I get from readers are about spirituality, and brace yourself . . . about God and the Bible.  Signs.

As an adult, I have never read or owned a Bible but I strike up a random conversation with a beautiful woman named Betty and two weeks later she sends me a Bible in the mail. Another sign. . . .

A random facebook connection turns into a discussion about God and the spiritual link to certain RSG values. RSG reconnects me with someone after nearly 30 years and I am awed by his transformation from crazy college kid to insightful theologian. More signs. . .

Within a 3 month period, I attend two funerals for people too young to die and am inspired by each family‘s unwavering faith. I go to Florida and sit next to a woman who starts talking about a man who spoke to Jesus while he was clinically dead for 3 days. On the same trip, I meet with a contractor and learn that not only is he from my home town on Long Island (how random is that?!), but that a religious healer literally saved his life after he received last rights. Signs . . .

I get home and open a video attachment that is about breaking subconscious barriers by thanking the Divine and asking for forgiveness. I get a (once in a blue moon) massage and find out that the masseuse is also studying the balance of energy and the healing powers of Reiki. I remember that my brother is alive because of the power of prayer (after 20 years there is still no medical explanation for his deathbed recovery). For several days in a row, I look at the clock and it is 9:11, an otherwise irregular sign from Brad who died in the south tower. A friend tells me about several freaky coincidences she experienced recently and I am reminded that nothing is by coincidence . . . including signs.

I believe in God and I know someone who truly needs a miracle so I follow the green lights and call the contractor’s healer in Florida. He confirms everything I believe regarding possibilities and I am inspired to pray for a miracle; not in desperation but in the strength. I think of the strength I gain from living in the RSG positive and know that combined with my faith in God it is even more powerful. I will not let the negative seep in and make me feel the fool for believing. Nonetheless, I play the skeptic until I open the mail later that same night. Amid bills and catalogs is an unexpected note from beautiful Betty about hope, new beginnings and prayer. I cannot deny the signs and I am grateful that I can see them. I’m ready for a miracle and I believe it can happen. RELAX. SET. GO.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Life is a Metaphor

While not a new idea, life as a metaphor is still a strong one . . . if you choose it to be. It may be cliché but clichés come from truth. So, choose your metaphor and make it your truth. Tony Robbins got me hooked on the concept a few years ago and I love it because, like RELAX. SET. GO., it is the definition of a quick step process that really works.

I never thought of my life as a metaphor or as a series of metaphors until I realized that my personal narrative was in essence driven by a subconscious life metaphor. It was the overarching theme of my mindset. If I could choose my narrative with RSG, then I could also choose my metaphor and live my life as such. So, as I was listening to Tony Robbins talk about the metaphor, I found my own: life is a dance. Like the orange color marker I use to amplify my energy (also compliments of Tony Robbins), I can always count on my metaphor to boost my narrative. In all honesty, when I think of my metaphor, I RELAX immediately because life is a dance makes me feel lucky and light on my feet, regardless of how lousy my lot may be at the time. Add this to my strong positive narrative and I am SET to GO for pretty much anything.

There is no rule that says choose only one, so if you like a little variety, choose a variety of metaphors . . . to use at will and which will always propel you to go for great!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Energy Entrapment

Anyone can become paralyzed by their own negativity but that’s not what this is about. This is about toxic people and how their bad energy can snare the unwitting into a spiral of emotional chaos. This is about energy entrapment.

It’s not that anyone sets out to be toxic. Many people don’t even know they’re toxic. They only see themselves so they don’t see the harm they do to others. They think they’re genuinely good which makes them all the more complicated. Most are driven by the need for power and adulation which is just a poor and often abused cover for deep seeded insecurity.

Toxic people rarely accept accountability and are hyper sensitive to any criticism, yet they themselves are skilled verbal abusers and smiling back stabbers. They know how to act in order to act in their own best interest. As a matter of fact, some of the most charismatic charmers are toxic to the core. In short, they are cons playing a game that they intend to win . . . at all cost to you and at none to themselves. You know someone like this, don’t you?

Toxic people do not derive their self worth from strength of character, they derive it from the weakness of others. They are cunning recruiters; zealously intoxicating followers who never question or confront. They need these people to feed their ego and to bow to their corrupt power. Toxic people are tireless self promoters who will artfully befriend anyone who can advance their personal agenda. They are ruthless competitors who despise any person and anything they cannot manipulate. They are the “wolf in sheep clothing” and the “snake in the grass.” Their boomerang is disingenuous and their energy is bad.

The sad truth is that toxic people are all around us. Their bad energy can be menacing and emotionally draining. It is poison and the only antidote is YOU. Deflect, deflect, deflect and always keep your energy positive. Choose empowerment over entrapment and do this: Stand up. Walk away. Fight back. Never join. Always defend. Believe in yourself.  RELAX. SET. GO.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Good and Bad of the Boomerang Back


I want to be careful not to create an expectation that your good, strong energy will always boomerang back with the same promise you sent it out with. The sad truth is that some people are so emotionally shut down that your positive energy may reach them but won’t necessarily rub off on them. That doesn’t mean you give up trying. There are many personality types and many sides to each personality but personality doesn’t always define energy. Most people present different sides of their personality and different energies depending on mood and circumstance.

Instead of trying to define people in terms of one energy type, it’s helpful to identify the energy they transmit at the time of your encounter. It’s true that most people have an overarching energy essence but energy is also situational and, therefore, pliable. For instance, passive energy can be ramped up or toned down. Anger is also pliable but sadness can be impenetrable. Complainers and victims are rarely receptive to a positive boomerang because they tend to thrive on their own drama and don’t really want to get out of it, no matter how much they say they do or think they do! Toxic energy (we’ll explore this more in an upcoming post) is the most complex because, far beyond simply negative, it is hateful and deceptive.

As you become more conscience of your own energy, you will also become a better judge of the energy around you. You’ll gravitate to the positive and choose the best way to engage with (or walk away from) the negative. And even though energy can change at any time, there are a few things that will always remain constant:
  • Negative energy will bring positive energy down but positive energy can always deflect and often diffuse negative energy.
  • The snowball effect goes both ways: negativity energy begets negativity energy and positive energy begets positive energy.
  • Beware of energy codependency: it is generally counter productive to thrive on someone else’s energy, even when it is positive.
  • The boomerang always bounces back but can change energies on the return so be prepared for a different comeback, especially when dealing with negative energy.
  • Misery loves company so always be sure to decline the invitation.
  • The only antidote to toxic energy is self preservation. Keep your energy positive at all times.
If for some reason you get stuck in the negative: RELAX. SET. GO. . . . laugh, skip, dance and get your cardio cruising. It only takes a minute of doing something off the cuff that will put a smile on your face and good energy in the air.

Friday, March 12, 2010

A Note From Me (DAC)

Just as I was thinking that my good intention list is gathering dust because life keeps interrupting my to-do expectations, I got some unsolicited support from a friend. He apologized for not responding on a link I sent him (a while ago). Then he revealed that he was eager to read it but was feeling swamped, as usual, because it was sitting within a full screen pile of get-to emails.

I got a good mental visual of what his inbox looks like because it looks a lot like mine and maybe yours, too. He opens, scans, assesses, flags, saves some as new, and adds to the good intention list. Then he responds to what’s urgent which generally leaves no time for anything else. And of course, when the time does come for the good intention list, well, the list just doesn’t feel so good anymore. How could it when it has so much stuff on it?! We are not alone.

When you're feeling this way, a dose of RELAX. SET. GO. will do the trick. Use it to give yourself a break and change your perspective. Remember, it’s a get-to list, not a guilt list. That alone will ease the burden of volume and offer the reward of actually getting to it. There’s a reason for the cliché “if I had a nickel for every time . . . “ If I had a nickel for every time I thought about doing something on my good intention list, I could probably pay someone to do it!

I think a new global goal should be: Pause For Patience. It’s a sad commentary that the immediacy of the email culture has created so much emotional baggage that people feel guilty if they aren‘t quick to respond. And even worse; how sad is it that someone may feel scorned or rejected if they don‘t get that instant response! This weekend, try something new. Turn off the blackberry, don’t check your email and if you do, respond at will. You will like it, you will see.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Energy Around You

Have you ever walked into a room and felt a jolt of energy, or the opposite, where you walk in and the room feels heavy and stale? Does it ever happen that you meet someone who you immediately like, or dislike? Have you ever been in a situation where everything seems to go right, or where nothing seems to happen at all? There is an energy to every place, person and situation. There are ebbs and flows, chain reactions and even sparks of spontaneous combustion. It is indefinable yet undeniable. It is the energy around you. You might not always be able to control it but your personal energy can influence it, and even change the experiential outcome. This is energy engagement and it is a very real sixth sense ability that we all have. It’s not mind reading or paranormal communication. It’s a mix of awareness and instinct that gives you the ability to gauge and engage the energy of your environment and the people around you. Energy is a boomerang but it will pick up the energy of others on it’s way back to you. So, you want to make sure to invite the positive and deflect the negative. Recognizing the energy around you (listen to your gut) will help to make sure that your boomerang comes back with the positive energy that you send out.

This is critical in the pursuit of happiness because energy is contagious, so you only want to catch the good stuff! I have always been attracted to people who seem naturally wired to see the positive, but admit I wasn‘t always one of them. I got rewired with RELAX. SET. GO. You can, too.

For earlier posts on energy consciousness and how to get yourself rewired, see December 2009 or go to the following links:

Identifying Your Personal Energy: What is your personal energy? How is it influenced by the situation or by the way you may physically feel at the time? Are you operating in the negative or in the positive? http://relaxsetgo.blogspot.com/2009/12/identifying-your-personal-energy.html

Out With The Old. In With The New: Energy = attitude = actions. Energy = mindSET. . . Conscious mindset allows you to choose your energy, write your narrative and go for everything you set your mind to. http://relaxsetgo.blogspot.com/2009/12/out-with-old-in-with-new.html

Turning On Your Positive Energy: If you think you can’t change your energy in an instant, think again. http://relaxsetgo.blogspot.com/2009/12/turning-on-your-positive-energy.html

Friday, February 26, 2010

A Note About My Education

I like to say I'm a work in progress . . . always looking to gain and grow from life experience.   I used to let life's challenges get in my way and too often, get me down.   Now, I can say that I pretty much feel lucky all the time and consider myself a successfully reformed life struggler.  I always strive to focus on the positive and to break any pattern that will sabotage the ideal possibilities. 

RELAX.  SET.  GO. is my daily mantra and the great thing is that I can use it for just about anything; even to reflect on lessons I've learned during my ongoing education.  Here are five that I was thinking about yesterday:

1)  The need for honest self reflection
     (you can’t change what you don’t recognize)

2)  Everyone has a right to empowerment
     (no one has the right to tell you how far you can or cannot reach)

3)  Human nature is consistent
     (we are all much more alike than we are different)

4)  Changing your life in order to reshape your mindset is hard to do
     (changing your mindsetorder to reshape your life is much easier
      and far more rewarding)


5)  Perspective is reality
     (when you begin to see the world differently, you’ll react differently
     to the world around you)


Have a great weekend . . . still snowing in NYC . . . enjoy!
DAC aka Denise

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Cumulative Effect

The great thing about energy is that it’s fluid. It can run high, low, positive, negative, and even passive. Our energy changes based on the situation at hand, our perspective of it and our physical condition at the time. The cumulative effect is the buildup of emotions and attitudes based on long term repetition that affects our reaction to different circumstances. A negative reaction can occur at different times for different people but it happens pretty much for everyone. When it does happen, it can be responsible for some of the most misunderstood behavior. Many consider it the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back.

It’s not that a reasonable person is suddenly prone to anger just because someone else does something that irks them (like never closing a drawer), or that the idea of a 12 hour work day makes an otherwise ambitious person want to curl up and stay in bed. It is the cumulative effect of dealing with issues, over and over again and on top of each other, that makes them so stressful or simply intolerable. You may be able to take things one day at a time but the days add up and so does the impact. That’s the cumulative effect. It puts emotional weight on the stressors, and that leaves too little time to nurture the things that really matter.

We’re talking about burn out, here and it hurts because it tends to singe every part of life. Don’t let it happen. Look, the great thing about anything negative is that the opposite end is positive. That end is very much in reach, every day, all of the time.

Even if you don’t think you can change your life or the stressors in it, you can change your mindset. This is exactly what RELAX. SET. GO. is all about . . . and it is life changing. The idea is to create a new level of engagement: tolerance, indifference, gratification, or whatever feels best. This depends on the energy you assign and the behavioral pattern you either follow or decide to break. Identify the cumulative stressors (or irritants) and make a decision about them. Mark each one with a mindset that will help you manage it and change your perspective to one that works for you, not against you. Make that mark (chosen mindset) your trigger for success and think about this: also identify the cumulative positives in your life and give them a little well deserved recognition, too. Just like the negatives that add up to the weight of the world, there are likely as many or more positives that should lighten the load. If you have the choice, and you do, always choose the positive. Because the truth is that the cumulative effect is very likely to become the constant condition and when it does, you want it to be a good one.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Upgrade Doesn’t Always Mean Advantage

Technology is a modern paradox. As it advances, it simplifies. As it simplifies, it complicates. There’s an “app” for everything but that doesn’t always mean it’s a good thing. Tech culture means more options but it also means more layers and that means more time. There are few excuses with technology. You can always be on call and on top of any issue. As the scope of what can be done becomes more and more limitless, so does the expectation of what we can accomplish.

In many ways technology has created a do-it-yourself, everyone can-be-an-expert at almost anything world. Just consider all of the things you can do with digital pictures. You can post them, edit them, rate them, tag them, print them, send them, write on them, put them in a slide show, burn a disc, make a movie, add music and customize virtually any product with them. So why is it that most photos sit in a big hard drive mess?!

It shouldn’t be that way because with technology today, you can meticulously manage your life. There is a chart, graph or file to organize just about anything. No pressure. It’s so easy that it should take no time at all which is exactly what most people have: no time at all. What’s crazy is that we really start to believe that we do have the time to do everything simply because everything is at our fingertips. The chart may be there in an instant but we forget that the time it takes to enter the information can be endless. It’s a cultural distortion that creates unrealistic expectations and undue pressure for everyone. Enter multitasking: the be all way to do it all.

The real truth about multitasking is that it’s a skill that is widely misunderstood. A skilled multitasker can manage more than one task at a time by successfully shifting attention back and forth so adeptly that focus is never compromised by distraction. They can tune in and tune out. Most people, however, split instead of shift. When they tune into one thing, they find it difficult to tune out the distraction of the other. As a result, tasks are disadvantaged and take even more time to complete.

Quantity is not quality so, if you fall in the latter category of multitasker then you need to decide which is more important. Sometimes getting more done without an eye for perfection is the right way to go. Sometimes quality counts and it is in your best interest to give full focus to one thing at a time. The challenge becomes knowing the difference and giving yourself the flexibility to prioritize between the two. Most of us, especially over-achievers, inherently set the bar high and put the expectation on ourselves to produce quantity and quality 100% of the time. When you add this to a high task volume and overlap it with the need for speed, you have a recipe for mental and physical burn out. Everyone needs to RELAX. SET. GO.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Checking In From DAC

I thought it would be a good time to write a personal note; namely to give a brief overview of what makes RELAX. SET. GO. (RSG) stand out in the sea of self help cure-alls and to give an idea of what to expect from the site moving forward.

First, let me throw an elephant into the room. I’m not a doctor, Fortune 500 CEO, accredited motivational guru, Ivy league educator or celebrity of any sort. So, how did I come up with RELAX. SET. GO. and why am I qualified to share it with you? Well, I say that the fact that I’m not a traditional self help arbiter is exactly why RSG is so different and so relevant. It doesn’t come from a text book, a doctor’s couch or a lecturer’s pulpit. It comes from real life experience; from someone who has been there and who understands the difference between what most chronically stressed people know they should do and what they feel in their immediate position that they can do. I know the potential pitfalls of days where being down feels easier than rising up but I also know how great rising up feels in the wake of being down.

I spent many years seeking the key to happiness and learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way. The thing that always stopped my progress was the demand for dramatic change and the heavy load of self help ideology. I would get a rush of enthusiasm as I saw the possibilities but nearly always become discouraged if I wasn’t able to meet every criterion of the program. Truth be told, I rarely read a self help book from cover to cover. I adopted the theory but it just took too much effort to immerse myself in the process. It took a while but I finally realized that it’s not the self help program in it’s entirety that makes it a success, it’s what you take away to improve life both now and for the future. Like most courses in life, it’s the take-away that matters most. And, for most time pressed and overburdened overachievers, the take-away is just about all anyone has time to digest and act upon.

The beauty of RSG is that it took years to discover but only one minute to apply. The quick step platform is the ultimate take-away; the Cliff’s Notes to self improvement and personal fulfillment. RSG is an emergent mix of human nature, behavioral patterns, energy output, brain science, physical health, spirituality, meditation and the realities of everyday life. The stand out is that it removes the rhetorical psycho-babble and infuses common sense that can be utilized in an instant or better yet, in a constant. And the “in an instant” part is so important because the reality is that everyone needs to reboot and redirect from time to time; not over a long walk or a week’s vacation, but in the moment when it’s needed most. RELAX. SET. GO. is there in the pinch and better yet, it doesn’t just change your moment, it changes your potential.

A separate note on what's to come . . . I think the best move forward is to give some definition to what you can expect from RSG on a weekly basis.  My mission is to post when it makes sense, not to make senseless postings just to fill space.  With this, you can expect a RSG platform post at the beginning of the week as well as additional sidebar information (polls, quotes, links) and an occasional editorial post from me during the week.  I am also working on getting the blog onto a larger website so that it doesn't require so much scrolling!

Thanks for staying with me through this long post . . . I really appreciate the time you put into the site and the encouragement I am getting along the way.  Have a great weekend and a Very Happy Valentine's Day.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Sleepwalk Domination

 
By putting the quick step RELAX.  SET.  GO. principles into action, it’s easy to see how a minute is all you need to reboot, redirect and revitalize your spirit.  Heightened awareness feels great and best of all, it gives you a piece of your life back.  It’s like being woken up from a restless trance that keeps you on the treadmill but keeps you from the treasure of what matters most. I’m not saying that the world exists as a walking, talking zombie nation.  It’s more accurate to say that we are living among a sleepwalk domination.  Remember, “. . . time to make the donuts?” Most maxed-out people aren’t even aware of their own surroundings and how they conduct their lives.  They have switched on the auto pilot and live in an endless loop of redundancy; same stuff, different day. They sleepwalk through life in a haze of craze, distracted and self absorbed in the rollercoaster of their own preoccupation. Sleepwalkers are usually oversensitive to pressure and desensitized to pleasure.  They don’t see what they miss as life zooms by and they may never realize that their days are full but their years are empty.  

Sleepwalkers are more likely to feel depressed and to subconsciously perpetuate their own negativity.  They play the blame game of “I don’t have a choice” and millions turn to anti-depressants in an effort to become numb to stress and hip to happiness. Anti-depressants cut the edge which is extremely helpful in managing stress but too often they dull the senses as well. What does happiness feel like when everything is neutralized?   Tranquility shouldn’t have to come at the cost of actually feeling things.  We need to become sensitive to being so desensitized.  The world doesn’t exist in grayscale.  It is full of vibrant colors and rich detail but sleepwalkers are so accustomed to tunnel vision that they tend to be tuned out and the color in their world tends to be washed out.  RELAX.  SET.  GO.  wakes you up, keeps you up, and opens up opportunity at every path.  

Friday, January 29, 2010

The Love Pause

Power Pause #10:  The Love Pause
Outcome: Your love really will conquer all.

This is the greatest pause of all. It can also be described as the appreciation pause and can be used for just about any reason. It is physical, spiritual and emotional. It will make you feel lucky. It will show you beauty in even the smallest things. It will turn a bad day to good. It will fill your life with light and gratitude. It will heal your soul. It will lead you and nurture others. It will keep you in love and loving life.

Whether it’s with a person, a purpose, anyone or anything, sometimes love really is all you need. Everyone should pause at least once a day for love. Love your friends. Love your family. Love your neighbors. Love your enemies. Love yourself. Love your life. RELAX. SET. LOVE. When you pause, take your thoughts wherever you need to go in order to feel it. When you do, wrap yourself in it and blanket your world with your very own love vibe. You’ll build a life force of positive energy and good spiritual karma. Things won’t just seem better, they’ll be better.


Pause to feel the love everyday and pause to show it. It is the best and most powerful energy boomerang you can throw out there and it can be so simple. Our friend Vincent, a high level NYPD detective who has worked homicide and seen the worst evil you can imagine, likes to send my very loving husband text messages that say little things like: answer your phone and hug your wife today. I love Vincent for that and I especially love those random hugs. They feel really good, for everyone.

 
When we got married, the priest told us the secret to a successful marriage is to say “I Love You,” every day. “Don’t just to say it“ he said, “mean it. Remind yourself where that love comes from and it will be real.” A Fortune 500 company CEO told me that a key to his 50 year marriage was holding hands with his wife. A friend who is an early elementary school head master told me that when kids fight, she breaks the pattern by making them say something nice about each other before they are allowed to do their tattling. She’s promoting the love pause and teaching kids tolerance and compassion in the midst of anger and frustration. This would probably serve adults even better. Og Mandino* (one of my favorite motivational coaches) knows that. He taught me and millions of others that the simple words and belief "I will greet this day with love in my heart” can change everything. It’s all about the energy and the narrative you create.


Whenever you take the time to RELAX. SET. GO. interject the love pause. Your positive energy will be even stronger when it’s enhanced by your love vibe. If you set your mind to it, that vibe will last all day and be felt by the people around you. With time, the love vibe will become your essential energy and your overall energy essence. That’s a good thing because it not only makes life better, it makes life easier. You might find yourself saying good morning to a stranger you pass on the street, smiling a lot more or walking with a lighter step. You will definitely find yourself less stressed and less bothered by any negativity you encounter. When you approach life with a love vibe, people feel your warmth and genuine interest. It shows that you care about yourself and others and that you will never let hate dominate.


And when negativity does threaten your good nature, use the love pause to deflect it. Whether you’re in a confrontation or trying to fend off frustration, just pause and turn all of your energy into the love vibe. During your pause, silently tell yourself, “I have only love to give and will respond to love in return. Negativity has no place here and no power over me. It will not get the best of me, even when I’m at the mercy of people who throw it at me like confetti.” If you are dealing with a demeaning boss or difficult client, silently greet them with love and understanding. If you find yourself frustrated by overseas customer service or an encounter with a belligerent taxi driver, just pause and send them your love vibe. Say it to yourself about anyone and anything. “I love you and you will love me.” It may not always work to your full advantage, but more often than not, your love and the energy you project will disarm your opponent and improve the outcome.


Love is pure and good, and good does prevail, even if it isn’t on your desired timetable. Life isn’t always fair and fair isn’t always pleasant. This is why a loving attitude is all the more important. Love will guide the way and get you through situational and emotional hardship. Even when you lose, you win because the love pause teaches you to love without condition and to walk away from the negative without becoming negative yourself. No matter how painful the present, love will give you confidence in a better future.
A better future is what each of the 10 Power Pauses brings to you. Each wondrous result adds to the remarkably magnificent snowball effect of RELAX. SET. GO. You will feel the lasting transformation to living life in the positive and will be able to snap into that energy even when you falter. The power is yours. The future is yours and you really can change it in an instant. You will be astonished over and over again, by what you can accomplish when you simply allow yourself to RELAX. SET. GO.


* Og Mandino’s book, The Greatest Salesman In the World set me on course for my own personal transformation nearly 13 years ago. It’s a must read and a must do for anyone looking to change their outlook and their life.